Monday, 17 June 2013

Breaking News

The term 'breaking news' is overused on news channels. 'Breaking news - a cat has been rescued from a rose bush.' 'Breaking news - tissues can capture germs.' 'Breaking news - a giant tomato has won Britain's Got Veg.'

But I have found a genuine reason to use 'breaking news' - I have even put it in bold AND underlined it because this is serious.

I can't find this piece of information that I am about to give you anywhere else on the interwebs.

Please make sure you're sitting down before moving on to the next paragraph. It's probably best not to read this in public or even at your work desk.

I was under the impression that novels wrote themselves.
They appear on our computer hard drives needing only a slight edit. They arrive by stork or grow under the gooseberry bush.
It turns out that novels don't write themselves!
Shocker!
My dreams have been shattered.
This is probably the biggest conspiracy since area 51.

Don't worry - we can get through this.
We just need to take it chapter by chapter, scene by scene, sentence by sentence.


1 comment:

billymcbrie said...

I'd totally watch 'Britain's Got Veg' :)