Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Conversations with Chapter 15

ME: So, chapter fifteen we meet again. Are you ready for your turning of edits, scribbles and rewrites?

CH15: Hold on, slow down. What do you mean chapter 15? Somehow, between being typed on the computer and printed off I have slipped down the pecking order from chapter 7 to 15. I liked 7 it is my favourite number.

ME: Chapters have been renumbered. I gave numbers to the alphabet chapters - you're still in the same place in the novel-

CH15: Nobody remembers the fifteenth chapter. (Goes off to sulk in the corner). Do you know what is even more hurtful? Can you guess, no, well you said when writing me that I was the hardest chapter to write but it didn't mattered because you would polish me up, make me sparkle for the second draft. But I have heard rumours that my make-over is more radical.

ME: Did chapter thirteen tell you that? Because he is a slippery character.

CH15: It doesn't matter if it was chapter eight or 13. I wanna know what you're planning.

ME: Okay, you want the truth. I nearly binned you from the novel. Cut you out of the credits. Got the other chapters to cover your shift.

CH15: You what?

ME: Don't get upset. I thought about it and I thought, chapter 15 is one of the good guys.

CH15: You don't need to tell me that. Just look at that line of girls waiting at my door. I'm a superstar.

ME: So and this is a big SO, you are going  to be renovated back to the foundations and rebuilt. An extreme make over.

CH15: It sounds like you're going to knock me down, rip out the original features and make a different chapter 15.

ME: Nobody wants to know about the main character's day at work. No body cares if her boss wants to offer her a promotion even though she is part of some sort of Resistance group. No tension. Plus it doesn't move the plot forward.

CH15: Readers like routine. It makes people feel safe.

ME: No it doesn't. It is boring.

CH15: Now you're hurting me.

ME: Look, its going to be for the best. I want you to be a chapter that matters. Don't you?

CH15: I suppose so. (He climbs back on to the pile of paper and waits his turn patiently).


Alex said...

This made me smile! And it is fairly similar in style to a story I'm writing, weirdly. Hope the novel is going well.

Jessica said...

Oh no - we're writing the same novel ;0

Jessie Carty said...

oh that just cracked me up!!

Nik Perring said...

Made me chuckle this, Jessica. You show those chapters who's boss!

katherineelizabeth said...

This sounds particularly familiar - I often have to remember that I am, in fact, the boss!

Jessica said...

Hi Guys - Just to let you all know that I kicked chapter 15's butt!